EmpowerSpank

Thank you! And Keep 'Em Coming!

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 00:52:56 -0500

Thank you so those of you who have agreed to be interviewed for my play about kinky people! I would really like it if you have any friends (online or elsewhere) who represent another facet of the BDSM community who would like to contribute their experiences. I love hearing about spankos, the stories I’ve heard about our strength and struggles are incredibly inspiring, but I’d like to open up the floor to a wider variety of people as well. Please send me a message either just saying you are interested, or with your email so I can send you the questions on an easier forum than tumblr. Also if you have any questons about my goals for this project, ask away. Keep being amazing!

I posted the last comment, I would love to get your email to chat. i really don't have any females spanko friends to chat with, just allot of friendzoned suitors.

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 00:09:25 -0500

If you send me another message not as anonymous, I can answer privately with my email. I’d rather not give it out for everyone to see though :-). Thanks!

I'm a closet spanko and I've been looking for a mentor since I was like 14 or 15 (in secret of course) I'm 18 now but all the spanko websites say I'm 21 because I've been lying in an attempt to connect with my own people (spankos). I've been looking for a platonic spanking mentor all this time and still not found one. Most just view it as sexual or they just live too far away or we haven't clicked. I can't even tell my biggoted family, I feal all alone a freak among freaks.

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 23:59:03 -0500

I feel very much in the same boat as you. Sometimes I just want someone to talk to about it who I know will understand and not judge me, but for it not to be a sexual thing. Like a friend how understands what it’s like. Especially since I feel a lot of the websites online are devoted to porn rather than any kind of real support group like there is for gay people, it can get really isolating, and make you feel like you are a freak. You aren’t a freak. I promise you that. If you ever want to talk, please, let me know and I will give you my email. We as a community need to support each other. I hope this helps, even a little bit. I’m young too—only 20 and in college.

I want to respond to your call for submissions, but my Tumblr blog is reserved for my more 'vanilla' interests and I don't want my username to go public. If I agree to be interviewed, will you keep my user information private? (You are welcome to my experiences, but I'm fond of my anonymity.)

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 01:24:01 -0500

Yes, absolutely. I am fond of mine as well… :)

Looking for Submissions (teehee play on words)

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 01:19:00 -0500

Hey guys!

So here’s the scoop. I’ve been writing a play for a while about a spanko and her struggles to come to terms with it for herself, and at this point I’m just not feeling it anymore. I don’t feel like the story is going anywhere, it’s not making sense, there are so many holes in the character’s stories that I just feel like it’s a bit beyond salvaging.

However, I do have another idea. I want to write a play about the BDSM community and the variety of experiences with realizing their kink(s), coming to terms with it, reactions from friends/family, etc, affect people. If any of you would like to be “interviewed” by email or through tumblr by me, please let me know. I would most likely use your words as quotes. But we will see what it turns into. I just really want to create something that represents more than just us spankos, though I will be including some of course.

Yay, theatre!

I think it's just a matter of you finding the right person. I suppose your kink makes that more complicated than it is for some people, but there are people out there. Dan Savage calls those folks GGG: good, giving and game. Also, what you're into sexually doesn't have to define your relationship or anything else. If you haven't looked through Dan Savage's advice archives, you really should. It will open your eyes to a whole range of relationship possibilities. Be well!

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:36:06 -0500

Thanks!

I think of ageplay is just another aspect of power in a roleplay situation. What turns you on (I think?) is not so much the 'childhood' aspect, but the powerlessness and vulnerability that comes with it. Though my partner and I consider our relationship equal in every respect, it's not uncommon for us to play scenarios with me in a submissive role. Some in the community may enjoy inhabiting those roles full-time, but there are those of us who prefer to keep it confined to the bedroom.

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 20:34:42 -0500

Yeah, definitely. Good to hear :-)

It's kinda funny to me to see you worrying about fantasizing about age play on Tumblr, where there are any number of women in daddy/girl relationships (or who at least claim to be in such relationships). It's not something I can relate to from the perspective of either party, but it clearly is well within the spectrum of BDSM relationships. It might make you uncomfortable to accept your fantasies, but you shouldn't worry that you're alone or weird or wrong for having them.

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:31:00 -0500

I guess what’s so hard to figure out is the fact that I have these fantasies, but I don’t want a daddy/girl relationship or anything. I want to have a normal relationship, and maybe play around with this stuff in private, I would never want it to actually define our relationship. I have no desire to be in any kind of submissive relationship, I want to be an equal to my partner. It’s just that I want to try the whole roleplay when we are in private. And I feel like a lot of BDSM doesn’t address that—that it’s either your in a full-on daddy/girl relationship or you’re not.

Wow. Just found your blog. Amazing, and, your experience is so similar in so many ways. Have to go right now but will send more if you are interested....

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 22:33:20 -0500

Yes, definitely!

I was reading about your spanking delimma, and wanted to share. I have found it is pretty common to fantasize yourself at quite a young age being spanked or sexually objectified. I've had a number of conversations with a number of people over the years about this very issue. I think it's pretty normal. I also think it's normal to think "oh hey, does this make me bad? sick? a pedophile?" meh, this is one girl's opinion, but I think you are not abnormal in this.

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 16:59:57 -0500

Thanks :-)

I read your post about your roleplaying fantasies and I just wanted to tell you that it's not strange or wrong at all! Ageplay is a HUGE section of the larger BDSM community. Ageplayers vary everything from an infant to a 15 year old and usually there is a caregiver role as well (not usually actually roleplaying as a parent but sometimes that happens too). I really don't think you should feel ashamed about these fantasies at all as they have nothing to do with real children. :)

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:58:02 -0500

Thanks. Yeah, I know that there isn’t really anything wrong with it, it just seems a lot harder for people to understand I think than just being into spanking…

Still grappling with this

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:54:00 -0500

So at this point, I’m pretty comfortable with being a spanko. I don’t tell many people that I am one, just because I don’t think it’s necessary that people know most of the time, or I think that it might be more effort than I’m willing to put out to explain it to them. But I’m okay with it in myself and that’s what’s important.

However, there is still an aspect of this fantasy that I’m yet to come to terms with. Or more like, I’m not sure if it’s a bad thing that I think about this. I mean, I know that as long as I’m not hurting anyone else (non-consensually, I mean), then it’s can’t be “bad,” right? For some reason I just can’t help but feel like it is though.

What I’m talking about is the idea of roleplaying as a child (me, pretending to be a child), being spanked by someone else who is roleplaying as either a teacher or a parent. And not just like a 15-year old, but a much younger, impertinent child, who is really unable to avoid this punishment. And of course the other person would NOT be playing one of my actual parents, or any teacher that I know, but a fictional one. I have yet to actually do this, because I feel that it is much less accepted than just being spanked as myself, or playing someone who is not a minor.

Now, I know that this is all make-believe. I don’t actually think that children should be spanked, and I don’t see them as sexual objects at all. Yet there is something about this situation that really turns me on and I don’t know why. Does anyone have any advice? Thoughts? Anyone with a similar situation? Thanks, guys.

I am really turned on by spanking, and the idea of being punished, but I dont actually want to be 'punished' because I havnt done anything wrong, and I'm a feminist! Please help! Also, how do you find men who are willing to spank, I would never ask as I would be too shy! X

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 23:49:00 -0500

I’m the same way. I like the idea of being punished/spanked in a sort of fantastical situation, like a roleplay, but I don’t actually want to be punished for something that someone else thinks I did wrong. I’m a feminist too, darling, all the way. But there is nothing wrong with getting pleasure from something that is consensual. I went through a lot of shame, thinking that there was something wrong with me for the longest time, but the truth is, human sexuality is such a wide spectrum, and there is so much mystery as to why certain things turn certain people on, that I’ve just stopped worrying about it. As long as I’m not “hurting” anyone by doing something to them that they don’t technically consent to, then there is nothing to be ashamed of. I’m not sure how to find men who are willing to spank. I personally haven’t had much luck actively seeking out a partner who is willing to spank me, I just happened to be in a relationship with someone in the past, brought it up, and she was willing to go for it. You have to brave sometimes to get what you want. And if the other person can’t accept you for who you are, they aren’t worth your time. But that’s just my opinion. Hang in there! You’ve got support here if you ever need it.

So have you tried the spanking-in-front-of-a-mirror thing yet?!

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:09:49 -0500

I have not. Haha

Hi, I think it's so cool to find a tumblr site that uses words instead of pictures. I'm Hermione, and my blog, Hermione's Heart, is all about having fun with spanking. Yours is the first tumblr site I'll be adding to my blogroll.

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:08:15 -0500

Thanks! I’ll have to check yours out too

Feel like telling us a sexy spanking story, perhaps?

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 15:28:20 -0500

That’s not really what I’m here for.

wow...a beginner here...what is BDSM?

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 02:23:14 -0500

It stands for Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism. More commonly know as S&M for Sadomasochism. Under this giant umbrella of sexual orientation (I would argue it is a sexual orientation), there are many fetishes and non-traditional forms of sexuality. The important thing is that no matter how “violent” or seemingly unconsenting these activities are, there must be consent between two adults. Everyone is turned on in different ways, this is just an umbrella term for the ones that involve relationships of dominance/submission, pain for pleasure or other fetishes that people wouldn’t expect to be sexual in nature. I could go on forever, but that is the basic gist of it. And spankophiles are simply people into spanking within the umbrella of BDSM, but everyone relates to it differently. If anyone wants to add to this definition, please don’t hesitate to. And thanks for asking :-).

Hi, ES -- I'm ES too! :-) What a cool site. I will add you to my blog list as well. -- Erica Scott

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:02:26 -0500

Thank you!

"the imagining of being spanked is more of a means to an end than the actual experience" This totally describes me! It's not spanking for me, which isn't that big a deal, but with anal play. I get so turned on just by looking at sex-toy web sites and reading about buttplugs and dildos. That isn't really a question. Here's one: Even though thinking about being spanked is arousing, isn't it so much better when you check out your red ass in the mirror? Ooh: ever been spanked in front of a mirror?

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:02:12 -0500

I don’t know if it’s better, but it’s definitely nice to see. And no, I’ve never been spanked directly in front of a mirror, but I’m liking the idea.

Hi ES, My name is Bonnie and I think what you're doing here is wonderful. I too have a spanking blog (My Bottom Smarts) and seek to help people accept and embrace this part of themselves. I'm going to go link you right now!

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 01:03:01 -0500

Oh wow, thank you! I will have to check out your blog too :-)